Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Time

I can't believe that we are at the three week mark.  It has really hit me this week that his death is real.  I left my mom's the Monday after the funeral.  I guess that kind of made me separate myself from acknowledging it.  I went back last Thursday.  It really hit me that he was not in the hospital or just at work.  I had a good visit with my mom.  We had many good discussions.  One that sticks out was about time.  I remember the morning that he died I was in the car on the way up there.  I had left my house in Austin around 5:30.  It was still dark outside when David called.  Shortly after the sun started to come up.  I vividly remember thinking to myself that the sun was still going to raise.  I said to myself and the baby sleeping in the backseat "I guess the world is going to keep going".  I thought this many times while my dad was in the hospital.  We would get Christmas cards and I would always think to myself "don't these people know that the world has stopped?"  I now know that it didn't.  My mom and I discussed the balance between figuring out how to catch up on life while still being respectful of my dad.  I noticed last Thursday a large barn had been built and on that was completed framed on my drive between Austin and Dallas.  I had not noticed anything there on my trips recently.  I have made this trip many times and can tell you if there was a barn there or not.  I guess I was so wrapped up in my life stopping that I had no clue that life was stilling going on.  I know that this post may not provide the comfort that you are looking for.  I wish that I could always provide that but I am only a human leaning on God.  

God has been good to us.  I know that God will supply all of our needs.  I know that in Him I will find the rest and comfort that I need.  

2 comments:

Tonigirl said...

I love your writing! Time does go on...and way to fast at that. You have that little one and no matter how slow your world is turning your little one is at a fast pace. It is hard to stay sad when your baby laughs and you relize that today was tomorrow....now it is today and life goes on. Well girl, keep leaning on God it is a good place to rest and know he always has your back.

Anonymous said...

Good morning sweet girl,
Your words rang in my ears as I read them. Many years ago when I left the hospital after my dad had gone to heaven, I can remember thinking, "why is the sun still shining so brightly, and whats wrong with theses people hurrying to their jobs,,,,
BUT, I am here to tell you that our God is able to replace those thought with hope and peace....Keep up the good writhing..You are precious..Bobbie Reed